Creature

The Sheep Bearer

The Sheep Gift bearer arrives at the gathering with much fanfare.

Well sure, yes, it’s certainly a generous gift.
But it’s all he ever brings!
And to a baby shower?
Really?!

Pizza Hexe

Pizza hexe tosses a pie pulled from her own body.

As boys in a small German village, my brothers and I would sneak out at night, drawn to the light from the kitchen window in the back of Zeppi’s pizzeria. We would watch in a silent mix of hunger and horror as the pizza hexe tossed pies pulled from her own body.

Lechugan Valkerie

A shimmering image of fire and fear, seen through half-open eyes.

Immolator of the lightly dozing.

Herculean Gingerbread

Gingerbread Man says 'Come at me bro!'

He will not go gentle into that good bite.

Turnipnotist

You are getting sleepy ... very, very sleepy

The last thing Steff remembers is tugging at an odd-looking and particularly stubborn root veg.

Flatbush Golem

The Golem of Flatbush

Composed of drifts of real and synthetic hair and dumped cooking oil, brought to life by the chance chiming of homeless and mentally ill oracles.

Mid-Century Modern Love

Those Eames brothers are hot!

Oooh, those molded plywood curves!

Afghani Khyberkat

Khyberkat says few shall pass.

“May I see your mountain pass?”

“Oh, no pass?”

“Well, nice to eat you anyway.”

The Cure for Itchy Mouth

Cure for what ails your itchy mouth

Take one and your paramecium troubles are over!
Take two and they’ll mate and you’re fucked for the rest of your suddenly very short life.

Reconnoiter Debrief

3 creatures report their lack of findings.

Initial reports find no trace of the buried six-pack.

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