Sir Ocelot

Talented but sociopathic oracle

“Ima show you the meaning of time, but first Ima make these little scritches in the hotel lobby.”

Kissy Angel

Kissy Angel

Do not get caught by her on Cloud Nine.

Follow the Leader

Ya know, when he's right, he’s right!

You don’t gotta walk funny like he does,
or stick you chin out and puff away on a dopey pipe ...
Just follow him!

... unless of course he wants you to.
Then hey, that pipe does make you look kinda cool!

Flatbush French Fry

Flatbush French Fry will put you down, son.

“Small fry?!”
“Who you callin’ Small Fry??”
“I’ll pour this Coca-cola all down your neck
an’ all down your back
an’ mush this empty cup all up on your head
an’ then maybe you can tell me ‘small fry’ son.

Brian the Biomechanical Engineer

Brian the quirky engineer

So, I used to know this guy Brian… a brilliant engineer but absolutely obsessed with mailmen.
More accurately, he simply detested mailmen.
No idea why. An incident from his youth maybe.

Backstage Pyros

One demi-celeb and minder burning brightly backstage.

Recent addendum to Tonight Show guest waiver:
Dear guests, please note that matches have been added to the list of items that will not be made available in the Green Room.

Even the Cloud Wanted Him Dead.

Kurtz goes off the social media deep end

Kurtz quickly mastered the CMS.
By March he was rapidly building strange and beautiful new modules.
By mid-summer the entire social media team was generating increasingly bizarre content,
controlled by the wild invisible strings emanating from his dark cubicle.

Bad Gift Bearers

Party smashers

This was one shower Baby would not soon forget.

Werther the Paranoid Crow

Werther the paranoid crow

He’s never met Fatty Arbuckle, never even seen the man in the flesh, but Werther knows, sure as corn’s yellow, that his brothers are trapped in one of Fatty’s pies, in one of Fatty’s shops.


Don’t mess. He’s union.

Go ahead, ask if he has your results yet.


Subscribe to Crazy