Not the World’s Best Babysitter

Hooded babysitter finger-paints wantonly on walls and charges

But she shows up on time, usually.

Peeking into the Drawing Room

Seymour the Ghost sees something he wish he hadn't

Seymour finally sees something he can’t unsee.

Pizza Hexe

Pizza hexe tosses a pie pulled from her own body.

As boys in a small German village, my brothers and I would sneak out at night, drawn to the light from the kitchen window in the back of Zeppi’s pizzeria. We would watch in a silent mix of hunger and horror as the pizza hexe tossed pies pulled from her own body.

Playground Monitor

Playground Monitor in action

Vigilant but slow. A minimum of six are required on the perimeter.

Shockhead Peter

Shockhead Peter in the soft afternoon light

In the olden times, failure to groom oneself led to unpopularity.

Lucky Peter! Today, the blow-out is dope!

Unlucky Peter; frilly lace collars, not so much.

Abominable Lincoln Logs

Lincoln log creature loping through the fog

“Put your toys away when you're done playing with them,” Bea’s mom would say.
“Okay Mommy,” Beatrice would say.
But the toys were very rarely put away.

Then, one night, a light blue, but very thick fog rolled into town.
And up the hill.
And into the house.

The next morning the fog was gone.
And the toys were gone from the floor. In fact, they were gone altogether!

And so was Bea.

This is a true story.

First-string JV

little unger grew up from a tadpole quickly

Unger was one courteous son-of-a-bitch.
Running into him in the backfield, he'd lay a hit on you so gentle
you'd think you were being put down for a nap by your mama.

Let them play

No, no... You don’t understand.
If we let them play, they’re occupied.
Lemkee’s off-key singing… get over it.
It doesn’t matter.

Pyrrhia Appears

Pyrrhia is beautiful but fleeting

The first time I saw her I was about 10, after trying to leap down all the basement stairs.

I would have cleared them if the slope of the ceiling were not parallel to the slope
of the stairs. My forehead struck the ceiling as everything else continued forward and up.
I fell back to the cement and metal-edged stairs, striking the back of my head
to summon her inky spreading beauty.

"Too much arc," she whispered.

"Try again."

Youngest Politician Yet

Youngest politician fresh faced!

A thousand venal half-truths but a gleam in his eye.


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